About Amy...

I'm basically a happy-type person. So this thing about feeling anger, fear, and sadness is really difficult for me (denial....i know.....i know.....) I just never learned how to express any of those feelings safely, so I managed to freeze those feelings waaaaaay deep inside me. And sadly, by doing that, I inadvertently turned off the ability to feel real joy and happiness and pleasure.

I think I'm really ready now to explore some of those icky feelings (or what I perceive to be icky feelings....). I recently asked a fellow Al-Anon member to be my sponsor (asking for help - another issue with which I struggle....I'm sure I can write more on that another time, but I must say here that I was REALLY pleased with myself for having what is for me the monumental courage to ask!) and we are getting together this week to make sure we can work together toward a common goal. And if all goes well, I should soon be embarking on the journey of the Twelve Steps. I'm flat-out scared of #4. I don't know what's down there, lurking beneath the "shining exterior" that I've worked so hard all these years to build. I know that the exterior will have to change after changing the interior, and I fear the repercussions of that as well.

All I really know for sure is that God is with me......And I'm REEEEEALLLLY going to need Him!

Peace out.....